Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
