Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How's work?
Spinning.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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