I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
