so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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