So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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