Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
