Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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