your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
