oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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