A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
