Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
