im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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