singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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