Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
