Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
