just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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