we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
