2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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