Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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