I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
