You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
