he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
