I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you traded sex for a burrito?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
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