don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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