I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
