oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
