No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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