Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
