And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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