I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
