Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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