He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize