Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
