My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I look better un-naked...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
