weddingsv make me drug and hornr
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
