I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
