He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
