I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
a search helicopter?!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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