did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
