how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
