whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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