all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
