You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
