His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
im holly from the hills drunk
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
