not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
