You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
