DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
