i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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