I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
