He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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