I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Randomize
