what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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