u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
