I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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