my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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