Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Randomize
