I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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