Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize