Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
is wine microwaveable?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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