I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
